I have often been labeled immature based on my general disposition and light-hearted nature. My constant jokes and silliness seem to be the primary focus of these critics. These surface level ways I choose to interact with the world around me seem to be all people need to form an opinion about my maturity level.
This seems to be due to children also tending to lead toward a whimsical silliness. And anything a child does, must be immature. Of course, one cannot approach a serious grown-up issue with the demeanor of a silly child. It would simply not be feasible. But is that true?
Is just because a child does it that an adult can’t? Do children not eat? Do they not drink water? Do they not breathe? Moreover, do they not feel sorrow, irritation, contentment?
Of course, there are behaviors children exhibit that a mature adult should not, temper tantrums, acting out and lying to avoid responsibility, to name a few. All manners many adults conduct regularly. But generally, if a person exhibits these actions habitually, but do not make silly jokes and laugh constantly, they can still be considered mature in the eyes of the Maturity Police. Because as long as you’re always serious and not having fun, you’re mature.
As defined by experts however, personal and emotional maturity is the ability to respond to life situations in a sensible, age-appropriate, and emotionally balanced way.
With many of my detractors, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing them in circumstances where emotional stimuli run high, and they will break down in tears, throw tantrums of disastrous proportions and act out; calling names or picking fights.
Would it not be more age appropriate and emotionally balanced to make a joke about my penis and move on?
Moreover, the attitude with which you handle your business should not overshadow your effectiveness.
One specific critic of my so-called childishness often misses rent payments and has racked up over $20,000 in credit card debt. Their attitude is mostly stern, and their purchases are “adult things.”
But is this actually more mature than taking a picture of my buttocks and sending it to Lalo before immediately swiping to the browser to pay my rent four days early, then purchasing a fart spray gun on Amazon with excess money in my checking account?
I do not think it is, and I’d also argue that this particular critic would be far less happy in my position than I would be in theirs.
But I fear this misconception of maturity has strong roots in our society. My good friend has been passed up for a promotion multiple times despite performing the best on his team, the interviewers pointing to his sillier attitude as the primary concern.
However, what I believe these interviewers and many adults have failed to gather is that a lighthearted reaction to the everyday world does not make a person incapable.
For a long time, I ran and operated a movie theater attached to a mall. I had one specific staff member that took great issue with my jovialness, assuming I was incapable and immature, even bringing the matter up to a corporate level. I mean they hated me.
Well one Saturday, a single gunshot rang out throughout the mall, specifically whilst I was in the middle of juggling oranges behind the bar.
My team panicked, some running out with the rest of the mallgoers, some freezing, including my detractor. I instructed the team behind the counters to exit and meet at our designated evacuation zone, ran to my detractor, instructed them to do the same, telling them it would be okay. After they nodded and left, I singlehandedly instructed the 472 guests currently in auditoriums to evacuate as well, ensuring everyone remained calm and moved quickly.
After meeting up with the crew, I was informed of a teenage crewmember who had hidden on the lower level, I returned to the theater and helped him evacuate ensuring everyone was okay. I unfortunately had to return to gather my team’s belongings, I mean they just let me walk right through the police barricade.
I even spent the next five hours assisting law enforcement's investigation.
I tell this story not to brag about being a hero, though I most certainly am. I tell this story to connect to the greater topic of maturity. See, throughout the event, I’d made several jokes. Asking our corporate security director to use her ties with law enforcement to deputize me, requesting Dippin’ Dots as a bonus in lieu of overtime, or even acknowledging that my crew would risk my getting shot in order to have their water bottles.
These jokes assisted with morale through the terrifying situation, easing the tensions amongst my team, and I was able to handle the situation well and completely in accordance with our emergency preparedness training, something the team member who touted themselves as more mature and deserving of my position, could not.
Ultimately, I don’t think people quite understand maturity. Simply because a dog meows, he’s not a cat. Simply because a tractor has a motor, it’s not a car. And simply because an adult laughs, does not make him a child. You see, what monkeys call business, horses call play. But to Tom, it’s all foolery.
